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A grandparent’s death is generally the first time that a goodbye is faced in childhood, but this story may well warm the heart and eases the pain.
Grandparents see their children having children and see them grow up to an extent, some for longer than others. However, as in life, grandchildren have to say goodbye to their grandparents. Grandparents do leave their spirit along with a legacy that of love that lasts when they become invisible, they haven’t died; it’s just that they cannot be seen.
While today it isn’t unusual for grandparents to have a part in raising their grandchildren, children are able to sense that their grandparents play a different role to that of their parent. A special, intimate and deep bond forms between grandchild and grandparent, so the loss of that grandparent can be a huge shock.
A First Experience In How To Do Deal With Loss
Some are lucky enough to reach adulthood with their grandparents being right by their side and these are the privileged ones. Many others face the death of their grandparent when they are in early childhood and these children have to deal with the loss in all its magnitude.
Adults should not shield the truth from children but of course news of the loss should be adapted to the age of the child. What is essential is not making the mistake of preventing the last farewell between the grandparent and child. Nor should children be lied to by saying something such as the grandparent is now an angel or they are sleeping with the stars.
Children must be helped to understand death in its simplicity and without the use of metaphors, this way misconceptions cannot be formed. Should the child be told that their grandparent has left; the question from the child is going to be when they are coming back. An explanation of why the deceased grandparent isn’t coming back would then be needed and if this is undertaken it should be done so very simply and straight to the point.
Many adults try to hide their own feelings about the loss, along with tears, when around their children, however, death shouldn’t be taught as being taboo, tears should be shed openly and people should talk freely about the loss. Children ask a lot of questions and these questions should be answered honestly and with answers that are precise. The loss of a grandparent, whether it occurs during childhood or later in adolescence or even adulthood, is complex and grieving should occur as a whole family, not matter what age they are at the time of the loss.
Grandparents Are Always Present, Even If They Are Not
Grandparents are forever present, even if they are not actually there in person. They are there in locations that are shared within families and in heritage offered to new generations. This includes newborn grandchildren along with great-grandchildren, who didn’t have the pleasure of meeting their grandparent face to face.
Grandparents held their grandchild’s hands when their grandchild was learning to walk, but they hold forever the hearts and live eternally in memory and give light. The grandparent may be seen in the tree that has grown, which they showed with their own hands and in many other similar situations. They remain with us when the smell of baking stirs emotional memory, in stories that were shared, the way shoes are tied and in many other things that happen on a day to day basis.
Grandparents are there; they never pass away and leave us alone. Remember they are forever with us, guiding us and enjoying all the little things in life right along with you. They have not passed away, they are just invisible.